


the nerds have tooken over the text messages

by IIzakuraII



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: :(, F/F, LET THE GRILL LIVE!!!, MAYA CAN SWEAR IF SHE WANTS TO, SpongeBob SquarePants References, also maya and shigeru are bosses at ddr, bruh, but shigeru is kagome so love him, chatfic, dancing aka nothing nobody can do, i need to stop with all the damn tags, it's rude, kill me now, makoto loves kagome as best girl, maya rage texting and voicemails and misato drunk texting needs to s.t.o.p, misato needs to stop drinking and instead get a snickers, ritsuko loves cats get her some asap, shigeru and makoto are dating because of gay, sleepaway camp references, stop disturbing maya from reading her big fat gay novel, too much gayness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-20
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2020-10-24 08:44:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20703161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IIzakuraII/pseuds/IIzakuraII
Summary: kawaii: did you know that if you touch my romance gay novel, i will personally get shigeru to kill you?guitar: wow, you said the word kill.kawaii: bro, stfukagome can tell me to sit and i will: and she cussed. i-





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> misato- beer  
maya- kawaii  
makoto- kagome can tell me to sit and i will  
guitar- shigeru  
cats are the best- ritsuko  
womanizer- (you should already know who this is)

_beer added @cats are the best, @kawaii, @guitar, @kagome can tell me to sit and i will, @womanizer._

beer: listen here, whores.

kawaii: great way to greet us, misato. 101/10. would come again.

beer: ah, thank you :) i love it when i call my fellow gay people whores.

kawaii: me too.

cats are the best: alright, slut.

beer: listen here, buddy. >:(((

guitar: can we just continue the wonderful speech or rules that the whore beer god got for us?

womanizer: She isn't going to finish it anyways.

beer: stfu, kaji.

womanizer: ;)

beer: anyways. rules. 1) don't disrespect beer. 2) spam is allowed. 3) if you are good at ddr, leave now. 4) cats and dogs can eat shit and die. 5) disrespect pan-pan and you're going to catch these hands-hands. that's my boi. 6) bully kaji b/c he's my ex. 7) ritsuko, cats can go die. 8) i'm allergic to cats and dogs so therefore i can make fun of them. 9) i can shuffle, boast about that, idiot. 10) everyone can go die actually.

guitar: sis, what hands do you got?

kagome can tell me to sit and i will: baby hands.

cats are the best: actually, cats can eat shit and live.

kawaii: me and shigeru are ddr gods.

kagome can tell me to sit and i will: beer doesn't taste good.

kawaii: good sleepaway camp reference, sempai.

womanizer: I'm terrified of hamsters. Does that count?

kagome can tell me to sit and i will: i killed my hamster before.

cats are the best: i can shuffle too. 

guitar: kaji pp is small.

beer: facts.

kagome can tell me to sit and i will: how u know what kaji pp size is? are u cheating on me :(

guitar: no. i mean, if i did, i would still love you.

beer: my mans just said if he cheated on you, he would still love you. 

cats are the best: sounds like some shit off of divorce court.

womanizer: you watch divorce court?

cats are the best: you listen to brittney spears? 

beer: womanizer, womanizer, you're a womanizer.

womanizer: You caught me.

guitar: iconic icon.

cats are the best: he listen to...i-

kawaii: anyone seen my gay romance novel?

beer: no.

kawaii: i literally see you with it.

beer: don't leave your shit alone. you're lucky that ari kissed nora.

kawaii: i'm going to kill you.

kawaii: listen here, kids.

kawaii: did you know that if you touch my romance gay novel, i will personally get shigeru to kill you?

guitar: wow, you said the word kill.

kawaii: bro, stfu

kagome can tell me to sit and i will: and she cussed. i-


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> misato- beer  
maya- kawaii  
makoto- kagome can tell me to sit and i will  
guitar- shigeru  
cats are the best- ritsuko  
womanizer- (you should already know who this is)

kawaii: S O we not answering calls now?

guitar: bruh, i send you a message.

kawaii: nah, i got chu. 

beer: stfu, i'm trying to watch got.

kawaii: bro, wtf is got?

kagome can tell me to sit and i will: maya, get ur girl, she's trying to steal my cat by luring it with cat treats into her car.

kawaii: get ur boy, he isn't answering my calls.

kagome can tell me to sit and i will: T E LL YOUR G IR L T O S TOP S5TELAIUNG M YMCTAS 

kawaii: ?

kawaii: i can't understand...

beer: shut up, im watching got.

kawaii: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOT?!

beer: ITS GAMES OF FUCKING THRONES.

kawaii: WHERE IS THE FUCKING F?!

kagome can tell me to sit and i will: TELL YOUR FUCKING GIRLFRIEND TO STOP STEALING MY FUCKING FELINES!

cats are the best: I LOVE THESE FUCKING FURBALLS. I'M FUCKING TAKING THEM.

guitar: why are we yelling and saying f words?

womanizer: Same.

kawaii: and YOU!

kawaii: WHY YOU HAVENT ANSWERED MY FUCKING CALLS?!?!?!?

guitar: ay gotta go. 

*guitar went offline.

kagome can tell me to sit and i will: bro, imma fucking kill your bitch ass.

kawaii: do it, hoe.


	3. ngl but like 2 on is maya's crack song

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> misato- beer  
maya- kawaii  
makoto- kagome can tell me to sit and i will  
guitar- shigeru  
cats are the best- ritsuko  
womanizer- (you should already know who this is)

guitar: i have rare footage of maya and makoto literally to throw it back to 2 on and it got me fucking weak.

kawaii: i hate you.

guitar: thanks

beer: i wanna see this.

cats are the best: i wanna see this too.

guitar: you in this too

cats are the best: i don't wanna see this.

*guitar sent a video.

beer: I'M FUCKING DEAD

kagome can tell me to sit and i will: i hate you too

kagome can tell me to sit and i will: but don't lie and say that me and maya can throw it back. 

beer: first of all, tumblr looking ass boy over not even twerking, your back said ) then (

kagome can tell me to sit and i will: but your back was like that when you was letting kaji hitting back.

kawaii: 🍵

beer: bitch, that's fucking soup.

*kawaii sent a picture*

cats are the best: ah, girlfriend like girlfriend.

guitar: eyes are red, eye bags, middle finger, and always looks like she's crying. That is truly your girlfriend.

kagome can tell me to sit and i will: What about me? Am I truly your boyfriend?

guitar: no.

kagome can tell me to sit and i will: WELL NO ASS FOR A MONTH! 

Womanizer: Everyday I come to this chat, I always think "What the fuck did I just read?"

kawaii: shut up, kaji. no one asked for fucking thoughts.

beer: keep your enlarged penis away from this chat.

cats are the best: frfr. this dude came into my office ass naked.

kawaii: dude running around with no clothes on. keep that shit on brazzers.

cats are the best: innocent kids are watching.

kagome can tell me to sit and i will: DON'T YOU DARE CALL MAYA "INNOCENT".


End file.
